Commence depression, deep spiraling depression.

My meds, Welbutrin 300 mg & Effexor 150 mg, ran out three(?) weeks ago. My employer switched to a new prescription plan with Caremark. The old plan with Medco warns you when you are getting low but I didn't get anything from Caremark.

In a rush, I went to my shrink for new prescriptions. I also forgot, that on the new plan I have to pay full price for him now. I had him write the two prescriptions for three months worth of meds. I sent the prescriptions to the Caremark and even payed $18 for next day delivery. While checking for a delivery date I discovered Caremark charged me $400. There is no way I can afford that. Medco didn't cost me $400 for two years of the same meds. Commence depression, deep spiraling depression.

I didn't get the meds for about a week after I ordered them. Next day delivery, my ass. When they finally came I discovered they substituted the Welbutrin for generic. Generic Welbutrin doesn't work. I tried it years ago. They are like sugar pills. I threw the pills across the room then wadded the paper work up and threw that too. I then wrote a barely comprehensible flame to Caremark. The meds and Caremark are totally worthless to me. I can't afford $400 every three months plus my psychologists fee. I'm not going to take the batch I just got and go through withdrawal again after I finish them.

Withdrawal started with just dizziness. Then came hot flashes, sleeplessness, nightmares, and mood swings. I have more energy because of the SAD light I got a week earlier but I don't feel like doing anything.

I can't see my psychiatrist anymore or afford any meds of any kind. If I get sick and need meds I plan to die rather than pay Caremark. I may as well die now.